Behind the Ironic Column

Maybe somebody’s trying to tell me something.  They say that if certain objects keep reappearing in your life, the Universe is trying to send you a message.  Something you’re supposed to do or not do.   My problem is that I don’t know whether I should consider these objects as symbols, culinary tools, or small scale weapons. 

I’m not usually a ‘finder’ – at least not in the sense of having useful household items turn up out of the blue.  Some of my friends seem to have that knack of causing a needed object to appear, but I’ve never learned it.  A few weeks ago, I was taking a walk along Terwilliger with a friend.  It was a nice, sunny weekend day and we were just out for a stroll along the bikeway.  Some of the automobile traffic along there is a little faster than it really should be but the route is usually pretty peaceful.  As we were rounding a turn, a pickup loaded with assorted goods passed at a good clip.  As it went around the turn, something small flew off and bounced on the pavement near us.  Luckily it wasn’t too near, because it turned out to be a pair of kitchen shears.  One of those that shows up in ads cutting chicken bones, etc.  I’ve never really owned kitchen shears. I have several assorted pairs of scissors and shears in the sewing equipment line but the only kitchen ones are tiny scissors used for cutting herbs.  I wouldn’t normally pick up tools that were tossed out on the roadside, but these landed at my feet.  (And I’m fully aware that we were lucky to be uninjured as they came flying off that truck.)  So it seemed reasonable enough to pick them up and bring them home.  I’ve sterilized them and put them in the drawer – ready for whatever shearing needs to be done.

Having a pair of shears tossed at your feet is one thing – and didn’t seem to mean much.  But this week the second kitchen implement appeared in front of me, so now I’m beginning to be curious.  We have a designated “giveaway” spot in my apartment building.  People who are moving in or out and suddenly decide they don’t want to be bothered with some perfectly useful thing will leave it there for anyone to take.  I’ve seen all kinds of things in that stack – some with no apparent use other than adding to the rubbish.  But people seem to find things to make use of – I once considered an ironing board someone left but really didn’t want to have no excuse to avoid ironing.   The large chef’s knife, however, was another story.  Clearly another kitchen implement – or, viewed in another light, another weapon.  I read a lot of mysteries and there are many ways this knife could be used.  I considered for a few minutes that it actually “could” have been used in some crime and I’d be holding the weapon.  It would definitely be difficult to explain to the police that I’d just picked it up at the “free” stash.  On the other hand, it didn’t look like it had been used to do anything much.  Maybe it was a present that someone just didn’t want.  Or maybe a couple breaking up their household found that neither wanted the knife they’d bought together.  Or maybe newlyweds who didn’t like Aunt Jane’s taste in cutlery.  So many possibilities – but no obvious clues.  Just a knife, lying there, waiting to be claimed by someone. 

So I brought it home with me.  Maybe I need it, maybe I don’t.  Perhaps I will return it to the free stash and let someone else ponder the meaning of a free knife.  Or perhaps another sharp kitchen tool will appear in my path soon.  And I’ll have to decide whether it means I should cut myself off from previous connections, stay in and cook more, or hold them in readiness as weaponry.

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